Flower Feelings

Copying Facial Expressions Teaches Emotions

2012-01-22T15:27:00.000-08:00

Children learn by doing, and learning to recognize and understand feelings is no different.

The mimicking of other people's facial expression is something that we all do naturally. It oils the wheels of social interaction. We perceive the facial expression of others, then quickly and effortlessly flex corresponding muscles in our own faces to reflect the feeling back.

Copying facial expressions is a natural way to build emotion recognition skills in children.

Lisa Wilson, Preschool Director

2011-12-23T08:49:00.000-08:00

Lisa Wilson is a preschool director who knows that social emotional learning is a key to academic success. Here she talks about how she uses the Flower Feelings to help the children she serves recognize, talk about and manage their emotions.

Emotional Intelligence In SCHOOL

2011-09-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

What skills are the best predictors of academic and life success? Why is it that some children grow up to be fulfilled adults in challenging careers and satisfying relationships, while other children, from apparently similar backgrounds and academic performance, struggle in relationships, dead-end careers and depressions?As a matter of fact the NAEYC, National Association for the Education of Young Children chose Emotional Intelligence Skills as the focus of their National Conference this past year. With 10,000 attendees it's safe to say that a growing number of educators recognize that students who receive an exclusively academic education may be ill-equipped for future challenges, both as individuals and members of society. It's just not enough to feed only the mind. Teaching children's emotional intelligence skills gives them an enormous edge in their personal and professional futures.

In fact studies show that schools raise test scores an average of 11% when they offer social/emotional programs to their students.

Emotions In The Classroom

2011-08-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

Okay To Feel Emotions

2011-06-07T10:05:00.000-07:00

During my experience in the preschool room, whenever the Flower Feelings were presented as an activity during group time, it was always successful. The children explored with each flower feeling and shared how they felt for each emotion. I found that this activity helped increase the children’s attention span, their focus, language skills, and their ability to listen to others and relate to other children.

I can’t express enough how important it is for early educators to have an activity like this in their classroom. It gives children the opportunity to explore all sorts of feelings, understand and learn that it’s okay to feel these emotions, and most importantly discuss ways to appropriately express these feelings. It’s important to teach children to handle their emotions early on before they go on to grade school.

Thank you for this wonderful activity,

Marife Vitug, Teacher

Happy To Have Flower Feelings in the Classroom

2011-05-29T09:53:00.000-07:00

Having this set of flower feelings plush pillows has offered our preschool children a great chance to express their feelings in various ways. We use it during circle time so that the children would get a chance to express their feelings. This tool has been effective because the children have been expressing how they feel whether they are sad, happy,angry, anxious, excited, etc., as well as building self confidence, and talking to others of how they feel. This tool is available for the children throughout the day so they can use whenever they need them. We are very happy to have this activity in our classroom.

Adriana Maldonado, Preschool Teacher

Savoring Happy Memories

2011-05-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

My dad took me to the Farmer's Market and I got to pet a lot of bunnies.

Classroom Activity: We can help teach our students to savor happy memories by turning a hallway into our "Happy Photo Gallery." Ask students to bring a photo from home of a happy moment in their lives. Have the children write a caption about what is happening in the photo. You can also have the students draw. Hang the pictures for parents and children to see and explain the exhibit with a nicely matted printout like this:

I Remember...

Savoring happy memories is a scientifically proven skill that helps people lead happier more satisfying lives. We are committed to helping our families raise happy healthy children. That means teaching our students important Social and Emotional Skills. Every one experiences uncomfortable feelings, and we don't ever deny that. But we love to celebrate the happy moments of life and this photo exhibit is all about savoring our happy memories. Please join us by using the car ride to school or the dinner table conversation to practice reminiscing about happy memories with your child. Enjoy!

Thank You!

2011-05-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

Having Flower Feelings in my preschool classroom has been very helpful to children with their language, social skills and emotions. It helped the children how to show their emotions when they are feeling sad because they had to say good-bye or because their friend made them sad. When children felt anger it gave them comfort. During our preschool circle time each child got to pass around all the flowers and share how they were feeling, it helped the children to express how they are feeling. After group time, they would walk to the art center and draw a happy face or sad face.

Flower Feelings is always in our reading area and it gives the opportunity for children to comfort them self’s when they feel sad, happy or angry. It was amazing to have them in our classroom especially during a time where children were having baby siblings and did not know how to show their emotions and the flowers made them easy to come out and talk about their emotions.

Nara Keheyan, Preschool Teacher

Gallery

2011-05-04T11:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the artwork! We love to see children express their feelings in a healthy positive way.

How Do I Tell You "I'm Angry"

2011-03-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

Children often don’t recognize anger. Many times they act out before they realize what happened. Identifying early warning signs helps children become more aware of their feelings, which in turn gives them more opportunity to control their responses to these feelings. How can you tell when you’re getting frustrated? How can your children identify frustration before it gets out of control?

Here are some common cues in children which indicate that they are becoming angry and may be about to lose control:

• tensed body

• clenched teeth

• increased intensity of speech or behavior

• unkind words or the tone of voice changes to whining or yelling

• restlessness, withdrawal, unresponsiveness, or being easily provoked

• noises with the mouth like growls or deep breathing

• pouting

• squinting, rolling the eyes, or other facial expressions

Learn to recognize the cues that your child is beginning to get frustrated. Look for signs that come before the eruption. Once you know the cues, begin to point them out to your child. Make observations and teach your child to recognize those signs. Eventually children will be able to see their own frustration and anger and choose appropriate responses before it’s too late. They’ll be able to move from the emotion to the right actions, but first they must be able to recognize the cues that anger is intensifying.

Teach your child to take a break from the difficult situation and to get alone for a few minutes. The size of the break is determined by the intensity of the emotion.

After the child has stepped back and settled down, then it’s time to decide on an appropriate response to the situation.

There are three positive choices: talk about it, get help, or slow down and persevere. Simplifying the choices makes the decision process easier. Even young children can learn to respond constructively to frustration when they know there are three choices. These choices are actually skills to be learned. Children often misuse them or overly rely on just one. Take time to teach your children these skills and practice them as responses to angry feelings.

Deployed? Activities To Keep Connected

2011-03-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

How can you keep a sense of connectedness between the deployed parent and school-age children?

Engage in Family activities prior to deployment.

Stay in touch through letters, cards, email, and phone calls.

Send pictures, drawings, copies of school work, care packages, and videos.

Together research the location of the deployed parent.

Encourage children to keep a scrapbook or photo album of missed events to share after deployment.

We are honored that the Flower Feelings are being used on military bases to help children of deployed parents understand and cope with their feelings.

Learn to Love? Love to Learn!

2011-03-01T02:45:00.000-08:00

"Young children progress from learning to love to loving to learn. Their first teachers are, of course, their parents. When that relationship is warm, abundant and trusting, children draw from it deeply, freely, and often. They respond to parental love with new growth, they respond to parental pride with new daring, and they respond to parental trust with new faith in themselves." - Priscilla L. Vail, M.A.T.

Letter From Grandma

2011-02-22T05:38:00.000-08:00

My 3 year old Grandson and I use the Flower Feelings to play "store". He piles all the flowers on his lap and I buy them with my "money." He counts the letters on the back to see how much each toy costs. For instance SAD is 3 "dollars" because it has 3 letters.

I don't know if this the the way you intended for them to be used, but he loves the game and he knows the names of all the feelings. I call that a win/win.

At the end of the game he puts all the toys neatly back into the carrying case, except Angry. Angry is kept in a special place because he loves Angry the best.

Welcome Home! When A Deployed Parent Returns

2011-02-15T09:55:00.000-08:00

The moment everyone in the family has been looking forward to, praying for, waiting for is finally here. Just throw your arms out and enjoy, right? ...Well, mostly.

When emotions are running high and there are a lot of expectations tied to a situation, a little preparation is a good idea. Here are some tips to help you make the return of a deployed parent a more joyful experience for everyone.

For the at-home parent:

Alert children to appropriate expectations for the reunion.
Involve children in planning welcome home celebrations.
Ensure quality time and plan activities.
Alert parent-Soldier to changes in children.

For the soldier:

Take it slow, do not force affection
Take care of yourself
Look for ways to interact that are pleasing
Plan quality time with each child
Model caring interactions between the parents

We are honored that the Flower Feelings are being used on military bases to help children of deployed parents understand and cope with their feelings.

Teaching Empathy

2011-02-10T14:37:00.000-08:00

By making this very expressive face Sharyn helps her daughter Lehla recognize the SAD feeling in someone else. She may not know it, but Sharyn is teaching Lehla empathy, a critical social skill.

Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions of others. Empathy kindles altruism. It compels people to act compassionately when reasoning alone might not. Researchers say that although some children are naturally more empathetic than others, it is not something that matures on it's own. Empathy is a learned skill.

The first step in teaching your child empathy is to start naming feelings. Yours, theirs, and everyone else's. Describe how you feel physically, "my heart feels heavy." You might remind them of a time they felt this way, "remember when you lost your blankie? That's how I feel now that I lost my cel phone."

When your child has an emotional situation you have a golden opportunity to model empathy by expressing interest in their experiences, listening carefully to what they say, and reflecting back to them what you think they may be feeling.

Listen actively; lean in, nod, clarify what you heard them say. "So your teacher wasn't there today when you brought her gift?" And then guess what they are feeling... "If that happened to me I'd probably feel disappointed. Is that how you feel?" The key is to communicate your awareness of the child's situation so they feel understood.

Can You Hear Me?

2011-02-07T05:05:00.000-08:00

Don't give advice.

When I need you to listen please don't give advice. I hate that. I know you're trying to help me solve my problem, but I'm not there yet. So don't rush me.

Don't tell me my feelings are wrong.

If you tell me why I shouldn't feel the way I do, you are invalidating my feelings, and that hurts! What you think are "irrational feelings" will make sense if you take time to understand me.

Don't interrupt.

That's just rude and it makes me feel offended, pressured and controlled.

Don't prepare your response while I'm talking.

I can tell you are doing that and it makes me feel like I have to shout at you to be heard.

Please, just listen! I'm not helpless. I may be faltering or discouraged, but I am not helpless. It hurts my self-esteem when you cut me off or figure it all out for me. I just want you to listen. It shows me that you care.

And here's an extra secret for you; It's a big relief when you accept the way I feel. Then I don't need to defend myself or convince you, and I can focus on figuring out why I feel the way I feel and what to do about it.

Thanks.

Anti-Bullying Laws In School

2011-01-30T11:55:00.000-08:00

What an encouraging map! The 46 darker green states pictured above have enacted Anti-Bullying laws. What can your school do to ensure that bullying is eradicated from your school? Here are three important tips.

Focus on the social environment of the school. In order to reduce bullying, it is important to change the social climate of the school and the social norms with regards to bullying. This requires the efforts of everyone in the school environment—teachers, administrators, counselors, school nurses, school librarians, other non-teaching staff (such as bus drivers, custodians, and/or cafeteria workers), parents, and students.
Assess bullying at your school. Adults are not always very good at estimating the nature and prevalence of bullying at their school. As a result, it can be quite useful to administer an anonymous questionnaire to students about bullying. A number of bullying prevention programs listed in the Catalog of Resources include these measures.
Obtain staff and parent support for bullying prevention. Bullying prevention should not be the sole responsibility of any single individual at a school. To be most effective, bullying prevention efforts require buy-in from the majority of the staff and from parents. However, bullying prevention efforts should still begin even if immediate support from all isn't achievable. Usually, more and more people will join the effort once they see what it's accomplishing.

How To Listen

2011-01-22T04:28:00.000-08:00

First of all, recognize that listening has to be learned. We teach children to speak and adults to speak in public, but we don't teach listening - so it's hardly surprising that most of us are not very good at it.

Next look at the speaker and concentrate on what they are saying, completely. Don't cloud your mind with what you might want to say in response.

Encourage the speaker with eye contact, head nodding, and occasional sounds like, "mmm" or "ah."

Keep your mouth shut. Let the speaker go at their own pace. There is no need for you to rush in and fill the silence.

When it is appropriate, clarify by asking an open ended question. "How did you feel about that?" or you can guess; "Did you feel afraid when that happened?" Of course we Flower Feelings creators think it's always a good idea to listen for the emotion that is powering the conversation. We never want to miss an opportunity to acknowledge or validate feelings.

When you think you understand what the speaker is saying reflect it back to them and make sure that is what they truly meant.

Write it down. It's okay to take notes and many times there are pertinent details that you need to make sure you remember.

Finally, if you can't listen anymore or don't want to, say so. Don't pretend to listen when you are no longer able to really listen.

Deployed? How To Help Your School Aged Child

2011-01-15T09:42:00.000-08:00

Foster effective communication skills.

Discuss how to deal with anger and fear. “Sometimes when you are angry it helps to find out as much factual information as you can, talk to someone that you think can help you, or write about your feelings.”

Share what the deployed parent is doing.

Engage in conversations that interest them.

Be honest, but ensure conversations are appropriate for their age and level of understanding. Avoid graphic details that may cause unnecessary fear and anxiety.

Ask questions to clarify what children are ready to understand (i.e., What do you think about _? How do you feel about _? Tell me what you think about _.)

Answer their questions with confidence, followed up by questions to see if they are ready for more information (i.e., Does that make sense to you? What does that mean to you? What do you think about _? Have you thought about _?)

Include school-age children in decision making processes related to changes in roles, responsibilities, and routines.

Help children find meaning and make sense out of deployment and the challenges. Encourage age appropriate discussions with peers and adults.

We are honored that the Flower Feelings are being used on military bases to help children of deployed parents understand and cope with their feelings.

Flower Feelings Help Child With Learning Disabilities

2011-01-05T11:35:00.000-08:00

In this video, first grade teacher Miss Gail describes how using the Flower Feelings in her classroom to acknowledge the feelings of a learning disabled boy helped him to improve academically.

Emotional Help for Military Families

2010-12-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

If you are a military parent you know that deployment is hard on kids. Many children need extra help dealing with their feelings. You don't have to do it alone. There is a network of people and organizations who want to help you and help your child deal with your or your spouses deployment. Remember, it is important to discuss children’s behaviors and feelings with all caretakers, and ensure children receive support from health and other professionals at first signs of distress. If your child seems to be having a difficult time here are some Key Contacts:

Army Family Web Site www.MyArmyLifeToo.com

Military OneSource 1-800-432-9647 www.militaryonesource.com

Operation Military Child Care www.childcareaware.org

We are honored that the Flower Feelings are being used on military bases to help children of deployed parents understand and cope with their feelings.

Social Symptoms of Autism

2010-12-18T11:19:00.000-08:00

From the start, typically developing infants are social beings. Early in life, they gaze at people, turn toward voices, grasp a finger, and even smile.

In contrast, most children with ASD seem to have tremendous difficulty learning to engage in the give-and-take of everyday human interaction. Even in the first few months of life, many do not interact and they avoid eye contact. They seem indifferent to other people, and often seem to prefer being alone. They may resist attention or passively accept hugs and cuddling. Later, they seldom seek comfort or respond to parents' displays of anger or affection in a typical way. Research has suggested that although children with ASD are attached to their parents, their expression of this attachment is unusual and difficult to “read.” To parents, it may seem as if their child is not attached at all. Parents who looked forward to the joys of cuddling, teaching, and playing with their child may feel crushed by this lack of the expected and typical attachment behavior.

Children with ASD also are slower in learning to interpret what others are thinking and feeling. Subtle social cues—whether a smile, a wink, or a grimace—may have little meaning. To a child who misses these cues, “Come here” always means the same thing, whether the speaker is smiling and extending her arms for a hug or frowning and planting her fists on her hips. Without the ability to interpret gestures and facial expressions, the social world may seem bewildering. To compound the problem, people with ASD have difficulty seeing things from another person's perspective. Most 5-year-olds understand that other people have different information, feelings, and goals than they have. A person with ASD may lack such understanding. This inability leaves them unable to predict or understand other people's actions.

Although not universal, it is common for people with ASD also to have difficulty regulating their emotions. This can take the form of “immature” behavior such as crying in class or verbal outbursts that seem inappropriate to those around them. The individual with ASD might also be disruptive and physically aggressive at times, making social relationships still more difficult. They have a tendency to “lose control,” particularly when they're in a strange or overwhelming environment, or when angry and frustrated. They may at times break things, attack others, or hurt themselves. In their frustration, some bang their heads, pull their hair, or bite their arms.

Flower Feelings are being used by parents and in classrooms as an early intervention learning toy to help children with autism recognize and understand emotions.

Don't Leave Me!

2010-12-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

It’s natural for your young child to feel anxious when you say goodbye. Although it can be difficult, separation anxiety is a normal stage of development. With understanding, patience, and coping strategies, it can be relieved—and should fade as your child gets older.

Practice separation. Leave your child with a caregiver for brief periods and short distances at first.
Schedule separations after naps or feedings. Babies are more susceptible to separation anxiety when they’re tired or hungry.
Develop a “goodbye” ritual. Rituals are reassuring and can be as simple as a special wave through the window or a goodbye kiss.
Keep familiar surroundings when possible and make new surroundings familiar. Have the sitter come to your house. When your child is away from home, let him or her bring a familiar object.
Have a consistent primary caregiver. If you hire a caregiver, try to keep him or her on the job.
Leave without fanfare. Tell your child you are leaving and that you will return, then go—don’t stall.
Minimize scary television. Your child is less likely to be fearful if the shows you watch are not frightening.
Try not to give in. Reassure your child that he or she will be just fine—setting limits will help the adjustment to separation.

Story Time

2010-11-15T09:15:00.000-08:00

Circle Time Activity

Tell the following story. At the appropriate times hold up the corresponding Flower Feeling and have the students call out the name of the feeling.

My school got a new swing set. I couldn't wait to get to school to play on it. I was smiling from ear to ear as I got dressed in the morning. I hummed a little tune as I skipped to the car. My mom said, "You seem like you are feeling _____ today."
(hold up)
When I got to school there was a line of children waiting for a turn on the swings. It seemed like the kids on the swings were taking forever. I wanted to be the one swinging back and forth instead of standing and waiting. I felt ______.
(hold up)

Just before it was my turn, the bell rang for us to go to class. My shoulders slumped and my eyes stung like I might cry. I felt ______.

(hold up)

At lunch time all the older kids played on the swing set. They were so much bigger than me and they all knew each other. I didn't think I would fit in. I felt _____. So I didn't even stand in line.
(hold up)
After school, as soon as the bell rang I bolted out the door and ran toward the swing set. I wanted to be the first one there. I couldn't wait to swing really high. But my mom was waiting for me. She was in a hurry to take my older brother to soccer practice and she told me to get in the car right away.

I felt like I was going to explode. It didn't seem fair. I felt so _____.
(hold up)
When I got in the car I didn't want to talk to anybody. I had waited all day to swing and now all I could do was watch other children swinging as the car pulled away.
I wanted to kick the back of my brothers seat. But I didn't.
"It's not fair!" I shouted.
"What's not fair?" my mom asked.
"I didn't get to go on the swing at all today." I said, "And I really wanted to."

My mom looked at me. She wasn't mad at all. In fact she said, "Thanks for telling me how you feel. How about if we come early tomorrow morning so you'll have time to swing on the swing?"
I felt warm inside. I felt ____."
(hold up)
The next morning. I was the first one at school and my mom watched me swing so high I almost touched the sky. She smiled at me and I felt _____.
(hold up)

Why Social Skills Are Key to Learning

2010-11-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

Before they can learn academics, kids need to know how to behave in a group.
By Ellen Booth Church

If kids can't get along, they'll have a harder time learning.

You may be hoping your child will learn how to read and write in the first few months of preschool or kindergarten. But there are many other skills that she needs to master before an academic focus is appropriate. Studies show that the most important skills to learn in the beginning of the year are social: cooperation, self-control, confidence, independence, curiosity, empathy, and communication.

In the first months of school, early childhood teachers are most concerned with children who have behavioral and attention problems. It's simple: If a child is not able to take turns, listen and sit in a group ... how can she learn what is being taught? That is why teachers spend a good deal of time early in the year on the basic social skills of preschool and kindergarten. Even if your child has been in a child care center or another type of program, she still needs to learn the social and emotional dynamics of this new group. Luckily, her previous experiences with social interaction both at home and in other programs will help her make the transition. Once these basic social interaction and group behavior skills are in place, she is more ready and able to concentrate on academics.

Your child learns best with a balanced approach supporting her growth in social, emotional and cognitive (academic) skills. So if he is not yet coming home from school knowing new letters or numbers, don't worry! Most early childhood programs slowly introduce more academics as the year progresses. Recent research in brain development has shown that a child's ability to interact with others, control and express her feelings, and take care of basic self-help tasks independently are as (or even more) important for success in school as academic skills. The neural pathways needed for learning are actually constructed through positive interactions with others! Your child's teacher will use this brain research information to help your child make connections with others in the class, to share and care, to listen and speak in a group, and to feel confident when taking on new challenges.

The First Basic Skills: The Four C's
Here are a few examples of teachers' goals for the beginning of the school year. Ask your child's teacher to tell you about her objectives, and for her suggestions on how you can support these skills at home.

Confidence: One of the first skills teachers focus on is the development of your child's sense of confidence or self-esteem. This means helping her feel good about who she is, both individually and in relationship to others. This is a life-long skill that will help her feel competent now and as she continues in her schooling.

Cooperation: Games, stories, and songs help your child learn how to work with others — no small task at this age! This teaches him how to empathize and to get along with others.

Curiosity: Perhaps one of the most important skills she needs to develop at this stage is a true thirst for learning. Her teacher will use a wide variety of interesting materials and ideas to engage your child's natural curiosity. Recent research shows that "novel" or unusual activities and materials engage the brain more than predictable ones . . . thus causing the brain to pay close attention.

Communication: Expressing himself and representing his ideas, feelings, and knowledge about the world is a key skill for your child. It is at the core of all reading, writing, math, and science skills. If he feels comfortable talking about an idea or opinion, he will be more open to learning and will be willing to take the risks of thinking that are needed to learn anything.

What You Can Do
Help your child develop essential social and emotional skills by making connections with school friends at home. Ask her whom she would like to invite for a play date. It is often easier for children to make friends in their own space, one-on-one, than in school. Many teachers have found that a child who is having difficulties making friends or sharing in a large group often can make a close connection to a new friend on her "home turf." This relationship can then carry over to the classroom setting. Once there is a connection to one child in the classroom, more are soon to follow!

The Importance of Play
For your young child, play is important work. He grows, learns, and investigates the world through play. This happens through complex play activities that invite him to think, problem-solve, and participate in fantasy. When your child engages in play, he has to plan, create a focus, and strive for a goal — all essential life and work skills. Your child's teacher should provide play situations throughout your child's day. She may first introduce letters and numbers through meaningful dramatic play, block-building, and literature/music experiences. So don't fret if your child comes home saying he played all day! You can be sure that with his teacher's guidance and his own innate curiosity, he was applying very important problem-solving, reading, math, and science skills right in the midst of his play.

The experiences your child receives in the beginning of the year provide the foundation that will enable her to become an enthusiastic lifelong learner . . . enthusiastic because she has discovered that learning is fun as well as meaningful.

Autism and Emotions

2010-10-28T08:45:00.000-07:00

One common characteristic of children diagnosed with autism is their impaired ability to interact socially. In scientific studies people with autism have difficulty in naming facial expressions, and defining emotions. A child diagnosed with autism is more likely to describe events in terms of actions, not feelings, and may display their own emotions in a way that is seen as socially unacceptable, for example, hugging a total stranger.

Several strategies have been developed over the years to help the individual diagnosed with autism better understand the social world around them. Keeping lessons visual, concrete, and routine is beneficial. Programs that teach what emotions look and sound like can help those diagnosed with high functioning autism stay within the mainstream teaching system.

Helping Young Children Deal With Deployment

2010-10-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

We are honored that the Flower Feelings are being used on military bases to help children of deployed parents understand and cope with their feelings.

The number of military children effected by the deployment of a parent or family member has significantly increased in the past few years. There are close to 1.5 million military children in the United States. Here is some useful information provided by the Department of Veteran Affairs about how to help children adjust to the challenges of having a parent deployed.

Infants (birth-12 months) may respond to disruptions in their schedule, physical environment or availability of care givers with decreased appetite, weight loss, irritability and/or apathy.

Toddlers (1-3 years) may become sullen, tearful, throw temper tantrums, or develop sleep problems.

Preschoolers (3-6 years) are more aware of the absence of a parent than younger children and their behavior may regress in areas such as toilet training, sleep, separation fears, physical complaints, or thumb-sucking. They may personalize situations and express a fear that "Daddy left because I was angry at him," or "Mommy stays away because she doesn't love me."

School aged children (6-12 years) are more aware of the realities behind their parent leaving and of the potential dangers. They may show irritable behavior, aggression or whininess. They also may become regressed and fearful that their parent may be injured or die.

Teenagers (13-18 years) may be rebellious, irritable or more challenging of authority. Parents need to be alert to high risk behaviors such as problems with the law, sexual acting out, and drug alcohol abuse.

A parent leaving home on a military assignment increases the burden on all family members. The following suggestions can ease the stress:

Talk as a family before the reassignment, sharing information, feelings, worries and plans for the future.
Let your children know that the family member is making a valuable contribution to their country and the world.
Emphasize the need for the family to pull together during the parents absence, with everyone sharing in family responsibilities.
Continue family traditions, structure, and discipline. This is reassuring and stabilizing to children.
Utilize available means (eg. email, letters, phone) for the family members to communicate with the deployed parent.
Share information with children based on their development level and ability to understand. No news can be stressful and difficult to deal with.
Monitor children's exposure to TV coverage of war events and political discussions of the war.
Encourage the open and honest expression of worries, feelings, and questions.
Consider having children participate in a project associated with their parent's deployment (eg. classroom letter writing project, keeping a journal or scrapbook).
Don't make promises that you can't keep.
Initiate and maintain a close relationship and communication with your child's teachers and school.
Utilize extended family, community and spiritual resources, and other natural supports that are available both within and outside of the military.
As a single parent at home, make sure that you also take care of yourself so that you can be available to your children.

Classroom Inclusion

2010-10-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

Emotion and Behavior Management

As early childhood educators we are entrusted with the responsibility of building a functional learning community with children from varied cultural backgrounds, social experiences and abilities. Inclusion of children with learning disabilities presents certain challenges.

Students who struggle to learn often develop behavior problems as they attempt to hide their weaknesses from their peers and cope with their low self-esteem. It is important for teachers to understand this and work carefully to provide simple ways for students to get help without making a big deal about it to the class. Some ideas include:

Mix simple questions into the lessons so that even those who have a learning disability will be able to participate in class discussions.
Provide more wait time than you initially think is necessary.
Assign a buddy student.
Do not ask the student to attempt to do something in front of the class if it is the student's weak area.

Teaching in an inclusion classroom does provide an extra challenge to teachers. With some basic understanding of the disabilities in the class as well as the behavior and learning issues that will come up as a result, any teacher can have a successful year in an inclusion classroom.

Cynthia Ogle is an Inclusion Specialist

Sherley Guerrero - P.S. 24, Brooklyn

2010-10-12T11:52:00.000-07:00

"I began using the kit with my fourth graders and they were very excited and engaged. I covered the emotions on the flower feelings cards and posted them. They had to guess what emotion the flower represented. We then labeled them together in Spanish. They had to write about an emotion they often feel and what causes them to feel that way. They had to describe what happens inside their bodies when they feel that emotion and where in their bodies do they feel it. My goal is for them is to learn a lot about feelings so they can be able to teach the younger children in our school as part of their community service.

I showed the kit to Emma Gonzalez who is the person who runs our Conflict Resolution program and she loved it. She will check out your website. I told her about the Happy Museum and she thought it was a wonderful idea. I will be sure to send you some pictures. "

Shirley Guerrero is a 4th grade teacher at P.S. 24 in Brooklyn, NY. She was featured on the Jim Leher Newshour on PBS for her work teaching social/emotional skill building in elementary school.

Angry Thermometer Activity

2010-09-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

One of the most difficult emotions for students to deal with is anger: it often erupts quickly and is difficult to control. Anger is a common response to experiences we find distressing.

The Anger Thermometer uses the analogy of a thermometer to help students understand their levels of anger. This can also be used for varying degrees of any feelings.

Draw a simple thermometer on the board or a large piece of paper.

Introduce angry vocabulary words by putting them in order of feeling intensity on the thermometer. It might look something like this:

Enraged
Furious
Livid
Angry
Mad
Resentful
Irritated
Frustrated
Annoyed

Ask questions that allow students to explore the concept of the thermometer:

How can angry be like having a fever?

A fever can be measured in degrees from cool to very hot. Anger can be measured on the Angry Thermometer. The higher your body temperature rises, the worse you feel. The higher you go on the Angry Thermometer, the angrier you are

What do people who care for you do when you have a high temperature?

Try to cool you down with medicine, or cold cloth (fever reducers). They don’t let you leave the house and you have you stop doing things. They tell you to rest.

What does this have to do with anger?
Just like a fever you should cool off and bring down your temperature on the Angry Thermometer before you continue to do anything or speak to anyone.

Explore the idea of anger reducers. What are some healthy ways to calm yourself down?

Ballooning- Take a deep breath and blow yourself up like a balloon. Gradually let the air out. Breath slowly until you are deflated.

Draining- Tighten every part of your body. Begin releasing the tension one body part at a time. Imagine your anger is a pool of water now at the bottom of your feet- it has drained to the floor

Self-Talk- Tell yourself that it’s better to calm down than to “lose it.” Look at the negative side of losing your temper, and choose not to do so.

Changing the channel- Picture yourself in a peaceful setting, far away from the place you’re in now. For example, lying on a sunny beach, or walking in the woods. This is a way to divert your thinking from the issue making you angry.

Room Full of Feelings

2010-09-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

Emotions are intwined with all that we say, think and know.

Emotions motivate action, speech, judgment, and decision making.

Emotions matter to teachers because the classroom is alive with bodies, hearts and selves, and because learning is joyous, exciting, frightening, risky, passionate, boring, disappointing and enraging.

Why So Successful?

2010-09-06T14:01:00.000-07:00

The Flower Feelings activity cards make it easy to talk about emotions in a way that children understand. How does it look, feel, sound, if it was a taste what would it be? They also include hands on activities that give students a chance to use their bodies, act out situations, and be creative.

Thank you!

2010-09-01T11:25:00.000-07:00

Feelings in the Classroom

2010-08-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

Thanks Jennifer!

Kindergarten - A Whole New World

2010-08-25T11:03:00.000-07:00

It's likely your child will experience a variety of emotions about starting kindergarten: happiness, pride, and excitement, sadness over leaving the teachers and friends at preschool behind; and fear of the unknown. The overall experience could leave her with ambiguous feelings.

"When young children feel complex emotions, they don't know how to deal with them. Their parents need to guide them," says Norma Richard, assistant professor of education at the National College of Education of National-Louis University in Illinois. Be sure to tell your child that she can master these feelings -- tell her, "You can do this!"

Preparing your child to make a successful transition from preschool to kindergarten begins at infancy, through the loving environment that you create for her. Kids have to know that their parents "are crazy about them," Morrison says. They need to feel unconditional love, to feel safe and secure in a warm, nurturing environment. You need to provide your child with standards and limits on behavior, and a predictable schedule, including bed time and rising time.

Try to eat dinner together as a family. Set a specific time for brushing teeth, taking a bath, and going to bed. Kids have to know what's going to happen to them and what's expected of them. When they do, the transitions they face --including that first big one from preschool to kindergarten -- will go a lot more smoothly.

Excerpted from "From Preschool to Kindergarten," published in National PTA's Our Children magazine.

Nobody Likes Jealous...

2010-06-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

...or do they?

Learning the Basics

2010-05-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

Thank you Ms. Allen for sending these beautiful photos of your students using the flower feelings in your classroom.

We keep the Flower Feelings in an accessible place so the children can interact with them when the opportunity arises.

The Flower Feelings prompt caring discussions between friends.

The children use the Flower Feelings as characters that interact with each other.

They also learn the words on the back.

We combine Flower Feelings with literature to explore emotions that the characters are feeling. For instance we read "One Dark Night" with the afraid Flower Feeling.

Spanking ...Never OK

2010-04-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

Is spanking ever OK? A new study says no. Spanking teaches violence and leads to aggression later in life. The American Academy of Pediatrics just published study finds that children who are spanked often are twice as likely to be aggressive in school.

I thought we all knew better by now, but statistics show that spanking is actually still a common form of discipline. There are better ways to get children to improve behavior. Spanking is not one of them, it's hitting plain and simple. When parents spank, they are role-modeling bad behavior.

Here are four positive techniques for discipline:

Make your expectations clear. Here's a good sentence template; "When you have _______, then you may ______."
Be consistent! Give appropriate consequences and follow through.
Remove the child from the situation.
Reward and praise positive behavior.

It is important to have a system for dealing with unacceptable behavior that is understood by everyone. When we use discipline techniques that treat children with respect we are teaching self-control and responsibility.

Illinois SEL Learning Standards

2010-04-12T15:53:00.000-07:00

Not all states have explicit standards for Social Emotional Learning (SEL) but Illinois has mapped out their goals succinctly and we applaud them for taking the lead in this important field. Here are the standards they've defined:

Illinois Learning Standards
Stage A - Social Emotional Learning (SEL) Goals, Standards and Descriptors

Goal 1 - Develop self-awareness and self-management skills to achieve school and life success.

1A — Identify and manage one's emotions and behavior.
1. Identify emotions (e.g., happy, surprised, sad, angry, proud, afraid) expressed in "feeling faces" or photographs.
2. Name the emotions felt by characters in stories.
3. Identify ways to calm yourself.
4. Describe a time you felt the same way a story character felt.
5. Discuss classroom and school rules.
6. Share feelings (e.g., through speaking, writing, drawing) in a range of contexts.

1B —Recognize personal qualities and external supports.
1. Identify things you like to do.
2. Identify the values that help you make good choices.
3. Identify the people who can give you the help you need.
4. Describe things you do well.
5. Identify reliable adults from whom you would seek help in an emergency.
6. Describe situations in which you feel confident.
7. Describe situations in which you feel you need help.
8. Demonstrate a special skill or talent you have.

1C —Demonstrate skills related to achieving personal and academic goals.
1. Recognize the relationship between what you want to accomplish and setting goals.
2. Explain the various aspects of being successful in school.
3. Describe a behavior you would like to change.
4. Give an example of an academic goal you could set for yourself.
5. Give an example of a personal goal you could set for yourself.
6. Divide a goal you have set into manageable steps.

Goal 2: Use social-awareness and interpersonal skills to establish and maintain positive relationships.

2A —Recognize the feelings and perspectives of others.
1. Recognize that others may interpret the same situation differently from you.
2. Recognize that others may feel differently from you about the same situation.
3. Describe how others are feeling based on their facial expressions and gestures.
4. Explain how interrupting others may make them feel.
5. Explain how sharing with and supporting others may make them feel.
6. Recognize how changing your behaviors can impact how others feel and respond.

2B — Recognize individual and group similarities and differences.
1. Identify examples of classroom behavior that are sensitive to the needs of others (e.g., taking turns, listening to one another, supporting each other's ideas).
2. Recognize that all people are similar in the needs they share.
3. Participate in the development of classroom rules.
4. Describe rules that help students treat each other fairly.
5. Demonstrate how students help each other (e.g., sharing, not interrupting).
6. Demonstrate honesty and fairness while playing or working with others.

2C — Use communication and social skills to interact effectively with others.
1. Describe appropriate ways to seek group entry.
2. Use "please" and "thank you" appropriately.
3. Raise one's hand for recognition.
4. Pay attention when someone else is speaking.
5. Follow directions given at school.
6. Take turns and share toys and other resources with classmates.
7. Practice sharing encouraging comments with others.
8. Practice saying "no" to protect yourself from unsafe situations.

2D — Demonstrate an ability to prevent, manage, and resolve interpersonal conflicts in constructive ways.
1. Describe situations at school in which classmates might disagree and experience conflict (e.g. refusing to share supplies, not apologizing for hurt feelings, making false accusations, excluding someone from an activity).
2. Describe situations in the home where children and parents might disagree and experience conflict (e.g., resisting the enforcement of rules or completing of household chores).
3. Describe a time when you had a disagreement with someone, what happened, and how you might have handled the situation differently.
4. Distinguish between constructive and destructive ways of resolving conflict.
5. Use puppets to act out and resolve conflict situations.
6. Practice self-calming techniques for anger management as a way to de-escalate conflict situations.

Goal 3: Demonstrate decision-making skills and responsible behaviors in personal, school, and community contexts.

3A — Consider ethical, safety, and societal factors in making decisions.
1. Identify and follow bus, classroom, and school safety rules.
2. Recognize appropriate touch; and avoid inappropriate touch.
3. Explain how taking or destroying another's property makes them feel.
4. Explain why hitting or yelling at somebody is hurtful and unfair.
5. Identify reliable sources of adult help.
6. Describe situations when you might feel unsafe and need help (e.g., crossing a busy street, being approached by a strange adult).
7. Draw pictures of ways to help others.

3B — Apply decision-making skills to deal responsibly with daily academic and social situations.
1. Recognize that one has choices in how to respond to situations.
2. Describe calming strategies.
3. Brainstorm alternative solutions to problems posed in stories and cartoons.
4. Use "I-statements" in expressing feelings.
5. Implement stop, think, and act (plan) strategies in solving problems.
6. Practice group decision making with one's peers in class meetings.
7. Identify foods and behaviors that keep the body healthy.

3C — Contribute to the well-being of one's school and community.
1. Identify how you currently help out at home and what else you might do for a caregiver or sibling.
2. List ways that students can help their class run more smoothly.
3. Express how you feel about helping out in class or at home.
4. Describe what you learned about yourself in helping out in class and at home.
5. Volunteer for various classroom tasks (e.g., helping with room set up, cleaning up, passing out papers, etc.).
6. Participate in making and enforcing class rules.

Chicago Public Schools

2010-03-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

Thank you Chicago Public Schools for hosting the Flower Feelings Workshops this past weekend. Thanks for the great reviews...

Tantrums

2010-03-17T14:38:00.000-07:00

Question: I want to be sensitive to the emotions of my students. I want to create and atmosphere of acceptance and trust. I have a child in my class who is ANGRY and EXPLOSIVE. A real tantrum thrower and I am having a hard time dealing with her. Help!
Answer: Teachers are human too. The emotions of the children effect our emotions. Tantrums for instance, can be overwhelming to adults. They are loud and uncontrollable. They can cause the adult in charge to feel helpless, afraid, ashamed or angry. Feelings that can push us toward being reactive instead of effective. it's helpful to remember that both positive and negative emotions play an important role in child development. Our job is to help young children learn to understand, express, and regulate their emotions. How do we do this when faced with a tantrum? By keeping things clear, firm and simple. Tantrums are not an invitation to lecture or to have a talk. Tantrums require intervention and follow through. Your first priority is safety. Later we will talk about the feelings that led up to the incident.

Three Key Factors Lead To Social Rejection

2010-03-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

Researchers at Rush University's NeuroBehavioral Center found three key factors in a child's behavior that can lead to social rejection, increasing the likelihood of academic failure, dropout, mental health problems, and drug use.

Two studies reported in the November 2009 Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychology identified factors that prevent children from building friendships and succeeding socially:

1. Difficulty recognizing non-verbal or social cues. "They simply don't notice the way someone's shoulders slump with disappointment, or hear the change in someone's voice when they are excited, or take in whether a person's face shows anger or sadness," said lead researcher Clark McKown.

2. Inability to interpret social cues. Other children perceive body language and other cues, but don't understand what they mean.

3. Inadequate skills to navigate social conflict. Even when they understand what is happening, some children lack problem-solving tools to succeed.

We believe that teaching children to recognize facial expressions and identify the emotions they indicate is a valuable investment in future academic and social success.

Hitting At Recess: How the Flower Feelings Helped

2010-03-03T18:19:00.000-08:00

As I was entering my classroom I encountered my assistant who was hurrying a student out of the room. She told me that they needed to go to the office, call home and go home. My assistant explained that the student had picked up three blocks and threw them at different classmates. Upon hearing this, I put my arm around the student and started to walk to the office. As we approached the office door I stopped and turned the student around and instead went and found a quiet classroom for us to talk. He was upset and remorseful for his actions. He got caught up in the moment and did not intend to hurt his classmates. After about 15 minutes we went back to the classroom where I chose to attend to this situation within a boys class meeting already scheduled.I started the class meeting by holding up 4 flower feelings: sad, afraid, angry and love. I explained that we had a serious situation that had occurred during recess and that actions of the student (names are never used) made me sad, afraid, and angry because I love them. I then had the boys circle around me so that we could all see each other. We used the flower feelings as a “talking stick”. The children then shared with the group how they felt about the throwing of the blocks. The following emotions were expressed:

-upset and afraid
-“I cried because it hurt”
-“I saw the person with the blocks and looking at him made me afraid.”
-“I was sad because people got hurt.”
-“I’m sad and angry because people got hurt and I was afraid.”
After asking students how they felt, we then discussed what we thought the person who did the throwing was thinking/feeling. Upon giving a boy the love flower, he said, “ I think he is sorry.” I then asked, “How do you know that?” He then replied, “Because I can tell by his face.” This of course prompted the rest of the students to look at their friend who threw the blocks. His head was hung low and he looked visibly sad and sorry. He began to cry. I grabbed my proud and love flower feelings, sat with the student and expressed my feelings of love for him. I told him I was proud of him for taking responsibility and for being sorry. The boys then passed around the love flower and each boy gave the upset student a “put up” resulting in him smiling. We ended the meeting by engaging in a group hug.

As the boys went back to their seats, one asked if he could give the student who had thrown the blocks a flower feeling and something else. He used the love flower to make a sign which read: I….love flower feeling…you!” Upon receiving this message, both students grinned from ear to ear and hugged. It was beautiful!
by Miss Gail, 1st grade teacher

Emotion Matters to Teachers

2010-03-02T13:38:00.000-08:00

"Emotion matters are difficult, dense, subjective, personal, communal, socially lived and understood, historical and cultural ,impossible to avoid, intwined with all that we say, think, write, know, withhold, remember, and wish to forget. Emotions drive motives for action, speech, judgment, and decision making... Emotion forms part of how we come to develop attchments to others as well as to objects and ideas. Emotion matters to teachers because the classroom is alive with bodies, hearts and selves, and because learning is joyous, exciting, frightening, risky, passionate, boring, disappointing and enraging. Emotion matters are inscribed in the teaching situation." - Laura R. Micciche

LOVE Garden - Classroom Activity

2010-02-13T12:18:00.000-08:00

"I did the LOVE activity from your kit and thought you might like a photo. The kids really enjoyed the whole experience. We had a great discussion coming up with the words to print on the cups. We talked about planting seeds of love and about how plants grow. It turned out to be a combination of social emotional skills and science. Also the children are bringing them home as Valentine's gifts."

Mrs. Chen
1st grade teacher

How Big Is My Hug?

2010-02-06T11:16:00.000-08:00

Objective: We learn math skills related to standard and non-standard measurement.

Measure out a peice of craft paper so that it makes a looooong rectangle which extends from fingertip to fingertip of the child's outstretched arms.

Explain that Love is expressed with gifts from the heart; hugs, pat's on the back, kisses, smiles, kind words, etc.

Today we are going to measure how big our hugs are by making handprints in a row on the paper (pats on the back). For a less messy project with more advanced writers you can measure how many kind words fit inside your hug by writing the words right next to each other in different colors.

Measure the paper with a measuring tape in inches and centimeters.

In the end the child understands that their hug is perhaps, 9 pats on the back wide in non-standard measurement and 38 inches in standard measurement.

These look great hanging around the top of the classroom.

Happiness Is Contageous!

2010-02-02T14:33:00.000-08:00

In this season of vigilant hand washing and sweeping viruses, it's helpful to remember that not all things contagious are bad. We've heard it said that, "a smile is contagious." It turns out that happiness really is contagious, according to a study released by Harvard Medical School.

Happiness can spread through social networks like a healing virus. One happy person can trigger a chain reaction that benefits friends, friends’ friends and friends’ friends’ friends.

Jealous

2010-01-27T14:06:00.000-08:00

"Jealous" is a difficult feeling to talk about because it is perceived as shameful. By giving the emotion a physical presence we show it as something other than the child. Flower Feelings help children understand that “Jealous” is not who they are, but a temporary feeling everyone experiences at one time or another. This makes it much easier for parents and teachers to talk about productive ways of dealing with jealousy. One of the positive things about feeling jealous is that this emotion let's you know what is important to you. It's a message from your heart letting you know that you value a relationship or an object. Like "fear" this feeling carries a warning. Jealous let's you know that you may need to take some action or express yourself appropriately to get what you need.

It is helpful to have a conversation with your children/students about jealousy. Don't point out any personal experiences of jealousy you may have seen occur between your kids/class. Instead share a story about a time YOU may have felt jealous. Share your experience and how you dealt with the feeling. Allow children to own up to their own feeling of jealousy ifn their own time. Praise them for being able to recognize the feeling in themselves. It takes good self-esteem to talk about your feelings of jealousy. If appropriate you can brainstorm actions that might be appropriate for their situation. For example: "What might happen if you asked your brother if you can have a turn?" "What might happen if you asked your mom for an extra hug?"

Santa Monica Mirror Gives Flower Feelings an A+

2010-01-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

The Santa Monica Mirror published an article in their Education section about the value of the Flower Feelings for early childhood education.

Feeling Switch

2010-01-19T21:02:00.000-08:00

Objective: We learn that feelings change. Questions: I feel happy right now. Does that mean I’m going to feel happy all day long? Do feelings change? How long do feelings stay?

Pass all the Flower Feelings out and have the children make a circle. Each child expresses their flower’s emotion by saying “I feel _______ right now.” Encourage acting! Play music (Like musical chairs) have the children pass the flowers and stop when you turn the music off. "I feel ______ right now." This playful activity will help the kids to recognize and spell the words of each emotion and start to find productive ways of expressing their feelings.

Goal: The children should be able to

Recognize and name each emotion.
Make the face of that emotion.
Act out the feeling.
Make a sound of that emotion. (yay! grrr, wah…)

Math & Memory Challenge: How many feelings have you felt today?

Flower Feelings Artwork by Children

2010-01-13T18:20:00.000-08:00

Happy by Aliukas
Sad by Nicky
Happy and Sad
Sad, Afraid and Happy
Proud
Afraid by Drew

Marilyn McGrath - President of the CAEYC

2009-12-07T14:56:00.000-08:00

I am a strong advocate of Social Emotional development in early childhood classrooms and worry that the push down of academics from the k-12 system will infringe on the time and activities needed to support this growth. The research on brain development, unequivocally, asserts that understanding and relating well to others is essential to the well being of children, as well as, their future success in school and in life. The Flower Feelings kit, while it supports this vital social/ emotional growth, is well integrated with reading, math and science skills and the discussion questions are open-ended and creative.

The Flower Feelings are a great teaching resource for every preschool and kindergarten. The colorful and engaging pillows allow children a tangible way to embrace their feelings while the activities and song included in the kit provide the teacher with many ways to create a safe and positive setting in which children can express their emotions.

Further, they seamlessly combine education and play, and play is central to the education of young children. I enthusiastically, recommend the Flower Feelings Learning Kit.

--- Marilyn McGrath
Santa Monica College ECE/Education Department

President of CAEYC - California Association for the Education of Young Children

Creating A Healthy Learning Environment

2009-11-30T12:11:00.000-08:00

"No significant learning occurs without a significant relationship." James Comer

Building a respectful relationship doesn't mean becoming the student's buddy. It means that teachers both insist on high-quality work and offer support. When high school students were interviewed about what actions show that a teacher has respect for them, students identified the following:

The teacher calls me by my name.
The teacher answers my questions.
The teacher talks to me respectfully.
The teacher notices me and says "Hi."
The teacher helps me when I need help.

With young children a significant amount of help is needed dealing with their own emotions. The teaching required in an early childhood setting is not just about academics. Showing acceptance and respect for feelings is an important aspect of creating an effective learning environment.

Teaching Teachers SEL Strategies

2009-11-30T10:32:00.000-08:00

Flower Feelings co-creator, Cynthia Ogle will be a guest speaker on Saturday, December 5th at the Child Development Services Building in Santa Monica, CA. She will be teaching about social/emotional skill building in the classroom to Marilyn McGrath’s Child Growth & Development professional class.

Marilyn McGrath is a professor at Santa Monica College and the President of the California Association for the Education of Young Children CAEYC

Cynthia Ogle has a masters degree in teaching and certificates in reading and inclusion.

Fondant Flower Feeling

2009-11-20T14:14:00.000-08:00

A sixth grader name Jacqueline made this gorgeous fondant Flower Feelings cookie of Sad! Thank you!

Flower Feelings Party

2009-11-20T13:40:00.000-08:00

Thanks Michaela, for sending in this Flower Feelings story!

Flower Feelings Artwork By Kids!

2009-11-16T11:42:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the children who have made up their own Flower Feelings. If you would like to share your artwork please post it on our Flower Feelings Facebook Page or send it to us via twitter, and we will put it on our blog!

"Laughing" by Keely
"Sleepy" by Michaela
"Confused" by Isabella
"Happy for Haladay"

"Peaceful" by Mary
"Jealous"
"Lucky"
"Dazed" by Kaitlyn

PRESS RELEASE: Flower Feelings Bloom In Schools

2009-11-16T10:37:00.000-08:00

The Flower Feelings Learning Kit has been embraced by early childhood educators across the country.

Chicago Public School - Early Childhood Education Program
Delta Head Start Los Angeles
CAEYC - California Association for the Education of Young Children
Archdiocese of Los Angeles

EI Kids, the creators of the Flower Feelings Learning Kit, offers teacher workshops on integrating social/emotional skill building into school curriculum. For more information or to schedule a workshop contact Lisa Malkiewicz at Lisa @ FlowerFeelings.com

Corpus Christi Holiday Boutique

2009-11-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

Thank you, Corpus Christi for inviting the Flower Feelings to be part of your Holiday Boutique! It was an inspiration to see a community of parents and teachers who appreciate the importance of an education that supports emotional and social learning.

The children were adorable in their enthusiasm and we all felt thrilled to see the toys we’ve worked on for so long received with such eager delight and understanding. Thank you!

---Lisa Malkiewicz

Palisadian Post

2009-11-11T18:24:00.000-08:00

The Palisadian Post's Danielle Gillespie wrote a glowing article about the Flower Feelings!

Jump-start Success!

2009-11-03T14:35:00.000-08:00

The ability to recognize and communicate feelings allows children to become leaders in their peer group. Emotional intelligence skills lay the foundation for academic success.

Recognizing a feeling as it happens is the keystone of emotional intelligence. People who don't know their own feelings are at the mercy of them. Flower Feelings help children think more clearly about ways to manage emotions. They help children recognize feelings in others, which builds empathy.

By giving feelings a physical presence we enable children to identify feelings as something other than them self. People tend to mistakenly think of feelings as who they are, "I'm sad," instead of an experience they are having, "I'm feeling sad." Or they mistakenly regard feelings as an action, "Stop being angry" When in reality, feeling angry is completely acceptable. It's just not acceptable to push your classmate in response to your anger.

We think being able to talk about and manage emotions is as important as math or science. Whether taught at home or school, social emotional skills are what will carry our children through life. We believe that playful communication about feelings can help children become better students. Our Learning Kit’s approach is simple and effective, through play, teach children to:

Identify and name emotions.

Better understand the causes of emotions.

Recognize the difference between feelings and actions.

School Separation Anxiety

2009-10-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

QUESTION: I thought my daughter was ready for pre-school. She went to a home daycare for a year and a half. She's well socialized and confident. Why is she grabbing my leg and crying when I bring her to school? Her teacher says she stops crying as soon as I leave. When my daughter talks about school on the way home, it is clear she enjoyed herself. What is all this separation anxiety about and how do I deal with it?

ANSWER: Your child is feeling afraid (anxiety). This is a golden opportunity for you to set a paradigm for how your daughter deals with this feeling. Certainly she will experience anxiety again in life, and you don't want it to get the best of her. You want her to learn to remain calm, examine the facts, and trust herself to make good decisions. This school separation can be an empowering experience of moving through fear.

First of all, if you need to get to work at a certain time, leave your house a little earlier to give your daughters situation the attention it deserves. Treat her feelings respectfully and she will become self-respecting. Don't sneak out of the classroom without saying good-bye.

You want to do everything within your power to teach her to understand and manage her feelings. Set her up for success.

Prepare in advance with these two requests of the teacher: "We're having a little separation anxiety at drop-off, would you please greet my child when we come in and help her to become engaged in an activity?"

Also, "May I please have a schedule of what you are doing this week so I can talk to my daughter about what to expect?" The unknown is so scary! Won't it be reassuring to say to your child, "You are going to be making bread today at school. Will you save me a bite? I'm going to come at 3:00 right after nap time to pick you up."

Also, teach your daughter to take responsibility for her feelings by communicating with her when the atmosphere is relaxed and safe. At home after dinner, for instance, you might start a conversation with her about drop-off. Ask her why she is having a hard time letting go of your leg. Don't try to talk her out of her feelings. Listen. Help her to understand her feelings. Clarify the facts of the situation. Help her think of ways to manage her feelings. Make a plan for how you are going to handle the situation in the future. Express belief in her ability. Get her excited about the rewards of being able to handle separation anxiety.

Now when you go to school you aren't just dropping her off. You are working together on the plan you made last night! She might slip up and grab your leg. Many of us don't get it right the first time we try a new behavior. No shaming allowed. Shower her with love and encouragement. Remind her what you are working towards. Hopefully that teacher is cheerfully enticing her with an activity.

The key here is to build a history of success. The extra effort required at the beginning is worth it to maximize the emotional intelligence skill building value of the situation. Good job!

Listening: The Most Important Communication Skill

2009-10-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

Use eye contact
Show interest by nodding, "uh huh's", etc.
Allow long pauses before asking questions; be patient
Give your full attention; stop other tasks
Avoid: "Scene stealing," Advising, Interrogating, "Sending solutions," Correcting, Debating

Listen non-judgmentally
Attempt to identify the underlying feelings

"It sounds like you felt disappointed..."
"How did you feel when ... "

Listen with empathy; focus on feelings
Show understanding and connection
"I understand." "I see." "I know how you feel." "I have felt that way, too."

Clarify and paraphrase, particularly the feelings
"So, you really felt insulted, is that it?"
"So you felt ___ and ____?"
Do not judge with your body language or facial expressions

Help the person focus while showing interest:

"What bothered you the most about it?"
"What did you like the most?"

Don't show disapproval
Don't spend your time "preparing your response"
Don't interrupt, evaluate or jump to conclusions

by Steve Hein

What is LOVE?

2009-10-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes children say it best:

"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings."

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him to make sure the taste is OK."

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

"Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Happy Museum

2009-10-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

My daughter made a mug for me with her photo on it. When I use the mug it reminds me that my daughter loves me and that makes me feel happy. Sometimes people have a t-shirt that reminds them of a place they visited, a photo of someone they love, or a toy they like to play with, and just seeing these things makes them feel happy. Do you have something that makes you feel happy when you look at it, or hold it?Gail Fears made this "Happy Museum" with her first graders. The idea came from the Happy Activity Card in the Flower Feelings Learning Kit.
One of the most important emotional intelligence skills a parent or teacher can cultivate is the ability to manage negative emotions. The "Happy Museum" gives children a concrete item to focus on that can bring about a positive feeling. Of course children identify with the items other students bring in as well, so seeing all of the objects together reminds them that we each have many happy experiences to draw from and remember.
The ability to focus on thoughts that bring happy feelings is not just a pleasant pastime or a coping strategy. It is a core skill that other social/emotional learning is built on. It is a springboard for developing self-motivation.

Jealousy

2009-10-14T07:33:00.000-07:00

"Jealousy and rivalry invoke strong emotions, even in grown-ups. One writer called the birth of a younger sibling the beginning of hatred. These feelings can be more disturbing to the very young child because he doesn't know how to deal with them.

Though jealousy can't be completely prevented, you can do a great deal to minimize it or even to convert it into positive feelings. If your child comes to realize that there is no reason to be so fearful of a rival, it strengthens his character so that he will be better able to cope with rivalry situations later in life, at work, and at home.

Parents can help a child to actually transform resentful feelings into cooperativeness and genuine altruism. The stresses and strains of coping with a new sibling can be transformed into new skills in conflict resolution, cooperation, and sharing.

These are lessons that are hard won. Learning to cope with the challenges of not being the only show in town may be the lesson that is most valuable of all to later success."

-- Dr. Spock, genius!

Angry

2009-10-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

Anger is normal. It is ok to feel angry. The task is how to manage anger and channel it toward productive or at least acceptable outlets.

Children respond with anger because they feel helpless. It can be triggered by embarrassment, loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and hurt.

A child who feels hurt by a loss may become angry as a way to avoid feeling sad and powerless. It is important to remember that anger is not the same thing as aggression. Anger is a feeling, while aggression is behavior. Anger is a temporary emotional state caused by frustration; aggression is often an attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property. Explain that anger is OK, aggression is not.

Allow children to feel all of their feelings, and model acceptable ways to manage them.

Coping With Uncomfortable Feelings

2009-10-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Children need help learning to deal with the upsets of everyday life and an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. So take the time to focus on feelings.

First of all, teach your child that everyone has feelings and that all feelings pass. Work on identifying feelings with your child. As you go through your day keep your eyes peeled for opportunities to identify feelings. That lady at the store was angry. The person on TV is sad. Point out feelings in yourselves and others.

Let your child know that it is their job to learn how to help themselves when they have uncomfortable feelings, like anger, sadness, fear, jealousy. All of us, children and adults, get upset and have to learn how to calm ourselves.

Make a plan with your child about how to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Help your child learn to take a few slow deep breaths when they first begin to feel upset. Practice this when they are not upset and you and your child will reap the rewards of your investment later.

Help Your Shy Student!

2009-10-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

Give your shy student a job to do. It gives them a reason to interact with their fellow students and feel like they are making a contribution.

Here are some suggestions, in order of difficulty:

Close the classroom door when the bell rings.
Straightening up the room after class.
Passing out or collecting papers.
Working in a small group on a teacher assigned project.
Taking a survey of other students during recess for the teacher.

Shy children crave attention, but dread it at the same time. Compliment them on a job well done, but don't put them on the spot by waiting for a response to your compliment. If they give one, great! But don't wait.

Happy

2009-09-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

"When we feel happy, we feel content and fulfilled. This feeling comes from having our needs met, particulary our emotional needs. We can be warm, dry, and full of food, but still unhappy. Our emotions and our feelings let us know when we are unhappy and when something is missing or needed. The better we can identify our emotions, the easier it will be to determine what is needed to be happy."
--- Steve Hein

Validate Feelings!

2009-09-20T15:55:00.000-07:00

Painful feelings that are expressed, acknowledged and validated will diminish. Painful feelings that are ignored will gain strength.

To validate someone's feelings is first to accept someone's feelings. Next, it is to understand them, and finally it is to nurture them.

To validate is to acknowledge and accept one's unique identity and individuality. Invalidation, on the other hand, is to reject, ignore, or judge their feelings, and hence, their individual identity.

When we validate someone, we allow them to safely share their feelings and thoughts. We are reassuring them that it is okay to have the feelings they have. We are demonstrating that we will still accept them after they have shared their feelings. We let them know that we respect their perception of things at that moment. We help them feel heard, acknowledged, understood and accepted.

Sometimes validation entails listening, sometimes it is a nod or a sign of agreement or understanding, sometimes it can be a hug or a gentle touch. Sometimes it means being patient when the other person is not ready to talk.

For more about feeling validation check out Steve Hein's site at www.eqi.org

PRESS RELEASE: New Product Launch - Flower Feelings

2009-09-19T10:29:00.000-07:00

Early childhood educators searching for a way to introduce young children to social / emotional skills are turning to the Flower Feelings. Created by EI Kids, Inc. the Flower Feelings Learning Kit contains plush toys, a book, music CD and lesson plans geared toward helping children to identify and name feelings, better understand the causes of emotions and to recognize the difference between feelings and actions. The product is available online at www.FlowerFeelings.com

“We created a playful program that gives emotions a physical presence, so kids understand feelings as something other than themselves, something embraceable.” says Lisa Gilford, who developed the product with her partner Daniel Nix. “We consulted with educators, therapists, parents and children to make learning toys and curriculum that are both fun and effective.”

In order to have a successful classroom, teachers need to be able to discuss feelings with their students and set standards for how they interact with each other socially. There is a productive and a non-productive way to deal with emotions and the Flower Feelings provide opportunities for classroom discussion in a non-judgmental way.

Studies show that when schools offer students programs in social and emotional learning, their achievement scores gain around 11 percentile points.

About the Company: EI Kids, Inc is devoted to creating engaging social & emotional intelligence skill building toys for children.

Flower Feelings
15445 Ventura Boulevard #282
Sherman Oaks, CA 91403

info@flowerfeelings.com

http://www.FlowerFeelings.com

Afraid

2009-09-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

We all have fears from time to time. That's true no matter how big we are or brave we can be. How do you help a child cope when they are afraid?

Treat the child's fear as reasonable. Making fun of a youngster for feeling afraid only makes the child feel inadequate and unreasonable. Ask them questions about what they are afraid of and help them focus on facts and explore their options.

CAEYC Conference Presents Cynthia Ogle

2009-09-04T12:26:00.000-07:00

Cynthia Ogle will be teaching a workshop in Social Emotional Skill Building & Reading Instruction at the CAEYC Training Conference which is coming to the:

Westin Bonaventure Hotel
404 South Figueroa Street, Los Angeles, CA 90071
(213) 624-1000

CAEYC Training the
October 9-10, 2009
Register Today! [click here]

Connect with other professionals in the field of early childhood education.
Coach your staff and students to help them bring out the best in themselves.
Communicate training goals in a clear, effective (and fun!) manner.

Meet other professionals in the field and enjoy two days of professional development created just for you!

This is a must attend event for early childhood educators. It will re-ignite your passion for teaching!

Flower Feelings Learning Kit

2009-08-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

Click play to see the Flower Feelings in action.

Teaching Emotional Intelligence Skills In School

2009-08-17T12:27:00.001-07:00

Teachers know that in order to have a successful classroom, attention must be paid to the management of emotions. Well handled emotions are the foundation of a loving, functional community. They are also a wellspring of incredible personal energy students can tap into. When management of emotions falters the whole class suffers, students are at a disadvantage, their focus dissipates and energy drops.
If your school has a social management program in place Flower Feelings are not a replacement curriculum. We offer a complimentary tool that can be used throughout the year at the teachers discretion. A tool that is adaptable to the individual strengths of each teacher, and available to the students as a way to stimulate recognition and discussion of feelings.
We do include sample lesson plans in the package. Our basic approach is adaptable and simple. We recommend an open discussion with the children where you describe the physical sensations and mental associations with the emotion at hand. Suggest clues for recognizing the emotion in someone else. Discuss the origins of the emotion and then brain-storm with the kids about the most productive way of managing the emotion.

The beauty of teaching about feelings is that children bring their emotions with them. We don't have to set up a lab or a play station for them to have feeling experiences. All we need to do is keep our eyes open and notice when there is a teaching opportunity!